Thursday, November 14, 2019

Who Watches

Watchmen ep. 4. A middle aged couple living their lives on their farm while Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers' Islands in the Stream plays as the soundtrack. Selling farm fresh eggs, doing a puzzle in the evening, brushing teeth side by side,  snuggling up in bed. They seem privileged and quite content for their situation. Then a very wealthy woman shows up at their door and says she wants to purchase their house and land, which the couple says is not for sale. The rich woman says, "Ten years ago you went to X fertility clinic..." The wife begins to cry as the woman recites details of their failed attempt to conceive a child. Then she says she has made them a baby and someone walks into the house with a baby in his arms. "Your son". The rich woman says they have 30 seconds to agree to the deal and if not their biological baby will be adopted out. ("Destroyed." she at first jokes.) The husband grabs the baby, the wife grabs the pen and signs the papers, and presumably all their problems are solved and they are now truly happy. Not that fake happy from earlier.

In that earlier scene, the wife stumbles and drops a box of eggs onto the porch. Some of the eggs break but one rolls intact towards the husband and he catches it. They both chuckle. It's played as cutesy. But to me it's disturbing and annoying. YES WE GET IT. Woman. Carrier of eggs. (And dropper of eggs.)

Pete has warned me that there is another scene in this episode that I'm going to want to avoid. He ended up describing it to me and yep, I don't need to see it. For a while I have felt like just giving up on the show because it's not for me. Not really. So many things are not for me anymore. I am not strong enough, I am not well enough, to experience certain things. It affects my well-being in real and tangible ways. I've decided to try to continue with the show because I have mostly enjoyed it so far and I love what it has to say about race. So I've devised a (ridiculous) system where I will watch the show and pause it to just before where Pete told me the problematic scene starts. Then when he gets a chance he will ffwd it for me to a 'safe' spot and I will pick it up from there. Ridiculous. Never did I think I would have to do things like this. But now there are lots of things I have to do that I could not have predicted. Who could. Even if healthcare were to suddenly take stillbirth seriously, it's such a weird type of loss, how could anyone predict the bizarre shit bereaved parents would have to cope with.

Every day is hard since we lost him. It feels like my pain is a cultural joke, like his death is mostly a plot device for lazy screenwriters. My life used to be pretty easy and now everything is hard. I guess I'm lucky. I know it. Lots of people don't even have that.

Islands in the Stream, D. Parton, K. Rogers

No comments:

Post a comment