Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Shut Up

There are people who want me to shut up. They send me their silent messages - DO NOT mention that baby. DON'T YOU DARE bring that baby to dinner. I am NOT answering emails about THAT BABY. I will silence you with my contempt, my judgement, my anger, my fear, my ignorance.

It makes me feel like I'm crazy. But I won't shut up. I won't contribute to the stigma and the ignorance. I can't. I have to say it out loud. For my daughter and for my son. I'm not doing it to hurt anyone. I'm doing it because I HAVE to.

It's unbelievable the shit I have to deal with because my baby died. Something happened to me that wasn't my fault, and I feel like I continue to be punished for it.

Please, babyloss families, keep saying it out loud. Try not to be afraid. Claim your child. You are not alone.


  1. Thanks for this post. I stand with you Toren's mom. I, too, will not stay silent!


  2. I won't either Toren's mom!!!
    Ava's mom

  3. It is so upsetting that people can make us feel this way. You are right, we HAVE to talk about our babies and it hurts so much that people make us feel like we shouldn't. I will stand with you too!

  4. <3 I am never silent about Evan, or all the other babies gone way too soon <3 It's unbelievable how hurtful some people are - without even saying anything!

  5. Its been 4 weeks for me since my son died, and yet I already feel like people want me to be "over" it. Like "enough talk about it already, move on". It makes me feel like I'm going crazy... I can't not talk about it either... HUGS <3