Monday, November 26, 2012

Memory making

I read something recently that talked about the difference between happiness and meaningfulness. It said that happiness was "present-oriented" whereas meaningfulness involves integrating past, present and future. Yesterday I got together with a group of bereaved parents to make some Christmas crafts. I'm anxious about what feelings the holidays will dredge up. Last year at this time, Toren & I were both getting quite big and excitement was building both for his arrival and for the holiday season. We were taking our daughter to a variety of activities and Toren was of course along for the ride. I'm drawing a blank about what else to say about that right now. My mind won't go there. For now I will just say that I had a great time yesterday getting together with a nice group of people to manage some grief, prepare for the holidays and tap into some creativity. We talked about everything under the sun, had some snacks and treats and ended up up to our necks in craft supplies. If I think about trying to find meaning in our situation, yesterday was about integrating past, present & future: remembering the past - our time with Toren; dealing with the present - support and craft-making as an outlet for the grief, as well as keeping Toren's memory alive; and looking to the future - building a community of people who share our experience and live in the same reality that we do. If 11 months ago someone had told me I could have fun doing that, I wouldn't have believed them, but I'm always surprised by how much a group like this can laugh.

Figuring out the glue was a major theme of the afternoon

The artists in the group impressed the hell out of the rest of us

Snooty reindeer stamp

I made some "nice" cards too!

Sad & beautiful cards by a grieving father

I'm not sure how we found space to actually work!

A mother expresses her grief and her creativity
Baby's hand print

Oops. Well, now I know how hard not to press.

The purpose of the day

Toren's Daddy's gorgeous hummingbird card


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