Thursday, November 15, 2012

Lights of Hope

Tonight we attended the St Pauls Hospital Foundation's lighting of the Lights of Hope. It was a nice event but bittersweet for me. The only reason we were invited is that Toren died and friends donated to the foundation in his memory. For that we are truly thankful. We raised $4000 and it all goes to the maternity ward. The Lights of Hope event was a lovely way to reconnect with that gratitude.

Unfortunately, we missed the actual lighting! Argh! We were inside gathering our things and rounding up our daughter (yes it takes two of us to round up one kid - how would we have done two??) and by the time we got outside, the exciting moment (and fireworks) had passed. Still, we got to see the lights, there was a men's choir, free food from some local food trucks and complimentary hot chocolate from a nearby coffeeshop. It was actually a pretty cool setup.

There were some emotional moments for me. At one point the choir sang When You Wish Upon A Star, and it rips my guts out that Toren's dreams will never come true. Then we went to visit the lights up close and there is a tunnel with stars that's fun to walk through. It leads to the hospital entrance and our daughter wanted to go inside. It's where we walked up to enter when I was in labour with Toren. It felt uncomfortable to be back there but I wanted to do it. We stepped inside for a couple of minutes. It was weird to be there again but I've been wanting to go back. I don't know why. He didn't die there, he was only born there.

Then Pete came to get us and said he found Toren's name on a tribute list. So we went to see that and it was wonderful to see his name up there. At the time he was still only "Baby Boy" so that's who he is listed as, but it was great to see and to know that when people read it, they will know he was a baby. I don't know why that's important to me but it is.

Nice music from the talented jazz band

Treats

Lots of Christmas decorations everywhere

In Memory - Baby Boy D.

Hope for Change

Starry tunnel of love & hope

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