Thursday, October 25, 2012

Time For Some Ellen!

When things get particularly heavy, I sometimes turn to Ellen. Ellen Degeneres is a mega-superstar now, but she started out as a confused young person who suffered abuse and self-doubt, but despite this, had the courage to speak her truth and face her fears and her detractors. When she came out as gay, she lost her job and endured public criticism, lack of compassion and lord knows what else. Over time, she continued to be true to herself, and now uses her powers for good on a grand scale. Her child did not die, no, she did not have to deliver him. It's not the same. But on the other hand, no one is going to threaten me or bash me in an alley because my baby died.

I was talking to another babyloss mom recently and we were talking about the people who don't want to hear from us. Who want us to shut up and not say things people don't want to hear - that babies are dying unnecessarily; that care and support for bereaved families is lacking; that grief is ever-present and is a function of love. I don't think there's a comedy routine in there! But we have Ellen. She says things people don't want to hear and she does it with grace and wit. I'm inspired by that.

This is a funny and for me, moving, clip from a live show a few years back where she talks about the impact that coming out had on her. There's a moment during the interpretive dance (yes, interpretive dance!) where she's sitting on the stage with her head on her knees and there's the sound of a heartbeat - that scene got to me. And I love what she has to say afterwards.

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