- A woman by the pool was reading a book called Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can. I still don’t like the word “heal”. I’m not sick or injured. I feel broken but even that’s not the right word. There’s nothing to fix. People say, “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” but that’s just one of those clichés that I can’t stand. I wouldn’t say I’m stronger, just different. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you different.
- The other morning at breakfast, our daughter blurted out “I wish Toren didn’t die!” I don't know if she saw his photo on my phone or was just thinking about him. I said, yes, we’re sad about that. She replied, “It will be sad forever.” I’m glad she understands that but I feel so bad that it’s true.
- In the children’s garden at Tohono Chul Park, there is a tree dedicated to a baby who died. She was almost 6 months old. I thought it was so interesting and lovely that her tree was in the children’s garden. Parents can and should tell their kids about her. She lived and her life is important, even if it wasn’t very long. Not long enough at all.
- We went to Wildflower restaurant for dinner last night and there were beautiful hydrangeas by the door. I got hydrangeas for my first Mother’s Day without Toren so they always remind me of him. We had a really nice meal there.
- A woman in the pool yesterday asked me if I am a superhero. Our daughter was pretending to be a superhero and so this woman asked if I was one too. I wish I was. I would spin the earth the other way, like Christopher Reeves did to save Lois Lane in the first Superman movie, and save my baby. Get him out earlier before the cord could get him. Pete the Engineer says reverse-spinning the Earth wouldn’t work (which class at Carleton U did he learn that in??) but I don’t care. I would spin the Earth or spin the universe, whatever it takes.
- The heat here has been unbearable. We have learned to get up early if we want to be outside for any length of time or go out in the evening. Pete says the air is like having a hair dryer blowing in your face all the time. This thermos has become our prized possession. She wanted me to take a photo of it:
- I saw a bumper sticker with an American flag on it and I was reminded of a bumper sticker we saw one time when Pete & I were driving through the States – “If it ain’t King James, it ain’t bible”. That made me chuckle. Also reminded me of my sister-in-law’s bumper sticker on her old car: “My karma ran over your dogma”. I still love that bumper sticker even if I don’t believe in karma anymore, if I ever did.
- The Horse Whisperer was on while I was packing up for our move to our hotel and the conference in Tempe. I’ve never seen it before but I liked the tone of it – sad, angry, broken people doing the best they can. I didn’t finish it and don’t know if I ever will. I don’t know if I want to see the Hollywood ending. The other interesting thing (for me) is that Robert Redford had a baby boy who died of SIDS when he was only a few months old. That makes him special to me.
More photos of cool cactus plants: